. des passages .

 . des passages .

Every thing is change; ocean waves and washed away sands where once children played. The tracks of wolves passing, wet printed along a shore; the bits of lettered sentiments blown down emptied modern streets. These are the left behind sign signals of what passed, and is now departing, leaving something ancient born again in the wakes of thrashed waters.

It went easily, a few quickly exchanged words, some rapid imagery, and then a fast-kept silence moving in so quickly not even breath could be caught. '… keep constant, keep quiet and to yourself, keep in motion …' The Taking Down proceeds in a hurly burly dance, accompanied by message checks, loud music, caffeination and nicotine addiction, coughing fits and sweated arm pits. Moments of reflection and a list that grows longer by the moment. '… this done, that will have to wait until after the holiday here in my soon to be departed lands, add another five and cross one off as either useless or redundant … where will the money come from …'

Sequences are choreographed and then reworked, a flurry of cardboard cut out footsteps on narrower and narrower pathways through the disaster of a life undone. '… left foot here, then right over here and then mind your hands and arms … you bruise too easily and there's no one but you in these moment movements … you dance alone …' There are short drives but only to accomplish the filling in of check marked boxes or to push some event closer to its tomb stoned status. Closures that are non-committal "Well Amanda I'll keep my fingers crossed for you; just take the meds with you and give me a call if you cannot get a refill." New PO addresses and fare-thee-wells, one absolute and another floating lightly on the airs.

The accumulated and careful kept flotsam of a half life, some to be put up for sale, some to be shipped to others who cared, some to be placed with tears on the funereal fires of this world's ending days. A little at a time armloads of me are turned to only my own failing memory. '… you are always drama girl, always in the center light focused only by yourself … yeah I know bitch-self, I have a signature that states it bright …'

Adding only small expendable things to this pyre; diet Coke was on sale, sixty cans for only eleven bucks USD '… what's that in the various currencies that now lay claim on our accounting …' Business is business and always must be done. Parts of the thing are numbers and slots where they are placed or eliminated; the law is a master that cannot be undone. '… stop fooling yourself girl, nothing can ever be undone …'

Agreed upon time outs; a walk at sunrise in fey grey light and thick soup humidity, occasional sleep but at the cost of missed phone calls and breaking promises. This to is as expected '… remember always self-lover the music of long ago … "Promises like lies can be bought so very cheaply" …' I reflect upon nothing and cast no shadows; I attempt an amnesia of heart and mind and simply step to that march of getting-it-done. Each turn-around there is more clutter and less organization but that is progress in this Taking Down. There are thirty-one days more to come.

© Amanda 2013 7.4.2013

Images:"Again I Crave the Dark Love", "Again I Crave the Dark Love III", "Again I Crave the Dark Love II" by © 2013