. it cycles and begins again there are differences each time we had been together . . the memory of where and when is disturbingly unclear occasioning unease . . there had been warm and subtle moving light in yellows reds orange warm heat . . we had been close together the scent of her still present liquid upon my lips .
. it is the beginning that memory of heat it begins again I am naked unadorned . . no gold hooped lobule and helix nipples erect pointed in clench still ringless . . there are no muted by bright white this current place swarmed blue butterflies . . this place is a glow of white grey blues black this place has no warmth no heat . . colors here are supposition a hoped for longing longing now is this place I hold .
. it continues a repeat with difference each occasion thousands now cold home . . I seek my source of wonder she is out there somewhere around buried shape . . lost loving girl .
. it is day or night indiscernible she will not last I hurry on voiceless hard winds . . shrieks torn heart break throat raw silenced footsteps slow blood flag passage . . no hope in this repeating blur landscape feel myself lifeless as well in separation . . sprays of black my valued shade of crimson life cast mute in abandon kick snows .
. it cycles in this manner with each repetition she left she left behind what longs . . it repeats with differences in the shape of the snow the humps of drifts the wind . . it curves wrapping heartfelt yet heartless my blood is black footprint markers . . it shapes clean white sheet fogged unmarked as yet fresh driven unsatisfied .
. she rose clothed bundled departed singular stonily wandered into storm . . woken I search knowing always that knowledge that burden of presence I am . . stripped exposed seen a shadow now in drifts of Kelvin white grey blue black .