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About Literature / Professional Premium Member Amanda GrahamUnited States Groups :iconcultusaesthetici: CultusAesthetici
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Published Works (all free)

The Blonde The Brunette (complete) by Amanda-Graham Poems of Love by Amanda-Graham the girl desired by Amanda-Graham
Dishonor by Amanda-Graham Orchard by Amanda-Graham Life Roar Heat by Amanda-Graham
Helen Ghosts by Amanda-Graham


. careless .

Careless Whispers by LoganX78

… was the bitterness of her name on my lips after she split. I … I have this strange metallic taste that nothin’ takes away.” She turns her head to the side, her right side I realize. Her chin’s tilted low and her eyes are almost closed. A few more centimeters and her chin would be on her shoulder, the bare shoulder where the top she’s got on rides down to her upper-arm. Colder weather has set in and she’s worn jeans with low brown boots, a wide brown woven belt and this top that makes me remember Paris; stereotypically, horizontal stripes are meme Paris to me.

Names always meant so much to me … I'd look them up. Hers was perfection, so perfect … perfect.” Her elbows, wrapped by the stretch of the black and white stripes of the jersey top, are planted on the edge of the linen covered tabletop. The white of the napkin drapes from her hands obscuring her bodice, her mouth and chin. There’s a slight blemish on the drapery of the white where she’d touched some of the coffee from her lower lip; a tiny crushed rose blush to the fibers in just one spot.

’Never fallen for another woman’, I told her that.” Is it in avoidance that she’s letting her eyes drift from one empty table to another? “I told her on some impulse … she’d made no moves on me, I was the first to say anything. I was living with Rico at that time; it was okay.” Her coffee cup, some mid-priced restaurant white glazed casting, sits cooled and untouched now. The foam of the Cappuccino had fallen; the spoon she’d used to stir it was neatly embracing the cup, lying beside it on the saucer. In Paris we’d both have been smoking and I wouldn’t be so nicotine impatient. Her left hand waves slightly, dismissing some imaginary element away into the air of the quiet bistro. “Rico’d always said girl on girl didn’t matter.” She has such long, well kept, hands.

I’d had girl crushes when I was a teenager. You remember? Nothing like this though; I’m so used to feeling in control. Doing what I want and the hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.” Her eyes pass over my face, registering me, and then continue on, settling somewhere behind me, over my right shoulder, where there’s a large expanse of glass and the street out front. “I couldn’t …” her hands surround the cup then retract at the coolness of its neglect “… I wasn’t in control from the start. She said her name and that was that.

Rico … that poor bastard. He didn’t know what hit him.” Her right index finger pressing a small lift-line in the tablecloth where her presence has raised the skirt. The pale ends of her nails elegantly drift back and forth along the linen edge of the table. “Work was a disaster, I couldn’t keep my mind on task, it was noticed. Rico had the little bit of himself out of my flat that day slamming the door behind him.” Her brown hair is loose; hanging forward, and now hides her from my view. “Threw the key at me.” A waiter appears and clears her cup, spoon, and saucer. I nod for a refill but she doesn’t acknowledge his presence.

I showed up everywhere I knew she’d be; wait on corners in the evening after work along the route she’d travel to her place.” She tilts her head enough that I see the small smile on her face and can picture those streets with their trees shedding leaves. “I’ve never been bi, you know that. Well, I guess I was but hadn’t …” She doesn’t jump, but only turns slightly to look, when a tray of dishes is collapsed into shards in the kitchen.

We met for lunch, and we texted some … me quite a bit I guess.” Her chin is wide, just slightly wide, and I study it for a moment, careless of her reactions to my scrutiny of her. “We went out together, twice. She likes jazz.” Her eyes are reptilian with the film of visual memories taking her away. “It was her name, and then all that I was learning about her. Always her name in my mouth; so expressive of my response to her.” Her eyes are focused and sharp in study of my reaction. To say they are brown would be dismissive.

I cannot get it out of my mouth, this taste of iron and things that went so very wrong. I guess I’m queer, or obsessed, or …” “Lost” is my only reply. She nods. “Work’s okay now and I’m sleeping again.” She nods slightly without any sign of pleasure, the corners of her mouth un-tensed and slightly curving downward. She’s wearing little makeup today; just enough to appear street cruel, and the bruise-purple sleepless look has retreated. “I won’t call her. I still have her number in my contacts and she’s texted me a couple of times since, apologies. Rico’s brother called and said he’d gotten in a few fights. I know he’s been fucking himself through half of my old friends.

The traffic outside is picking up; more horns, more reflected flashes of afternoon light. The restaurant is empty of customers and our bill sits with my credit card flat on top on a dessert plate. “I know how I feel about her, but I don’t know what to think of myself.” I sense her eagerness to end this. Her back is straight and her legs now uncrossed; she’s turned slightly in her chair.

Did this help you?” she asks quietly. I nod and smile sadly. “Yeah and … thank you for telling me.” She rises and lifts her purse and light brown leather jacket from the empty chair to my left. “What am I going to do now?” Her long narrow legs carry her toward the entrance doors. The hostess pushes against the windowed wood and the left-side door opens for her.

© Amanda 2014
"Careless Whispers" by :iconloganx78: © 2009


Amanda-Graham's Profile Picture
Amanda Graham
Artist | Professional | Literature
United States
I became a loom ... a work of wood and oils and flesh and pain ... I became words, woven together to impart myself, an offering of memory and love ... I became a crowd of voices longing for that final color that might complete ... I am Amanda here to open, here to pound loud and set you upon a journey ...

Let me tell you a story ...

Farcebook™ I only use for music and posting links to my work here ... Gargle Plus is the same ... now ... TubeOfYou? lots of music that i likes mmm hmmm

TweakerCreature™ - i might answer i might not ... i never know from day to day; be patient i have things to weave - @blondeonhorse

Tube You My Channel -…

For the ensconced demented deviants among us!

Yes, I AM a gay American woman; and damn proud of that. I flirt shamelessly with females, males, and photos of kittens. Anyone who let’s that go to their heads (eyes.the.homophobic.female.artist) is not only stupid but arrogant.




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oviedomedina Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Thank you very much for the watch!
NataliaDrepina Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Photographer
thank you! :blowkiss:
revack Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Thanks so much for all the :+fav:'s. I'm very glad you like them. :dance:
skulkey Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
skulkey Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
sorry about being ghosty in the chat.  i passed out... :paranoid:

the three of us should set a time to hang out and do it. :)
m-gosia Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Hug thank you for your generosityPoints Hug 
m-gosia Featured By Owner 4 days ago
:iconmyheartplz:+fav +fav +fav Hug 
Wicked-HP-Disney Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch
DeterFArt Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014
thanx ! xx (4favs)
KizukiTamura Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014
thanks a lot :aww: :rose:
StormBringer23 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014
Makes my day when I see you've been by. :iconhuggleplz:
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
and many thanks for the fave ads Amanda :tighthug:
SILLY-BILLY-J3SSIC4 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014
I am gathering points for my group
Calling-All-Poetry And could use
your help making our 6th contest a reality
Thank you for your consideration
Have a great day!
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
inspiration breeds inspiration .... words fuel emotions & i feed off them all ....

all the promises by chriseastmids
Amanda-Graham Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Professional Writer
it's so beautiful in my mind and in my heart Christian ... ty for linking me (hugs)
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
as you know its always my total pleasure :hug:
AnitaCreation Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
Many thanks for the fav :-)
Kay-March Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
Thank you for appreciating and fav. some of my little poems. :D
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
as always Amanda many thanks for the fave ads :tighthug:
k-i-mm-i-e Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for watching. (: :heart:
LouVart Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for all the :+fav: ! :iconifeelfluffyplz: :iconloveheartpls:
skulkey Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Amanda-Graham Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Professional Writer
okay that's the most wack comment thread i've ever read ... wtf

love the beats and the lyrics (grins)

:music: Hana told me change that lock and key ... :music:

*just for the shared poetess ref lol*

but then ...
skulkey Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
oh, Mandy darlin, i've read so many more wack things than that on youtube alone... :lol:

glad you two are bouncing stuff off each other as well.  i feel bad i haven't been keeping up with you two and your words lately, but i have lots going on at the mo...

and still unemployed. :giggle:  oh the bitter irony...
Amanda-Graham Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Professional Writer
(1 Reply)
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